I’m Not Supposed to Remember….

I heard the words as I drifted off to sleep, “we were told she wouldn’t remember”…. I asked Freda many times over the years, what happened to me as a child???  I asked Peggy and told her I thought my health issues were related to what happened in that house… and she said, “Live, love and laugh”…. 

Both kept lying all the way up to last year… they both kept lying… I posted the MRI results… showing the severe brain injury… told Peggy where is your proof… that move I call, “Check Mate”… and I have no clue how to play chess….

The thyroid medication messed with my brain for 27 years… even though I am smoking pot, my vision of some memories are so very clear…. there are still some gray areas, that I thought would never see the light of day… so I have hope, more will continue to surface… pushing out of my comfort zone, exposing myself to things, looking for any trigger….

Not a sound from the family dynamic that is watching this little show go down… so many know the secrets and thought how grand to screw with Margie… and they wonder why their lives are the way they are…. I asked for honesty and got so much less…. I walked, the road block is no more…

I am not supposed to remember… and I think that is why they are so scared of the book… I remember so much and the lies they told…. they all took so much… some cry me a river stories, every day life…

But I am not supposed to remember…. Mike is letting me go back into my world, where I use the talent I was born with and I figure it out… and when I am done, I tell him the goal was accomplished… I don’t always get it right… but the failure is part of the learning, it shows me what was false and real….

But I am not supposed to remember…. standing and watching Freda cry over a woman who hated the man she married…. never saw her have true emotion over anyone else, ever…. I was covered from head to toe in bruises, my light so diminished by these christians….

But I am not supposed to remember…. 

Yet I did….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who could leave the world around her and fly….

Sgt. USAF DAV