Anger still resides inside…

PTSD and the motor mouth syndrome is supposedly contributed to what ever is causing our PTSD… When I was diagnosed, the doctor wrote that the PTSD was related to my illness and in a way he was right…

As an adult, the only injuries I sustained that was not surgical by the Air Force or VA…. was the injury I received when I hit the boulder in the river on Japan… the same river 3 adults drowned in… I wrote about saving my youngest son’s life that day… and that is the only blunt force trauma I have that I got since I left home at 18…. 

By the time I got out of the military, they had a list of ideas, only a couple they put in writing… by the time I got back from Japan, the military had put more in writing… by the time Mike and I had been married 4 years, the VA put even more illness’ in writing…. and not one was correct, so I get where the shrink thought it was because of my illness that I had PTSD…

The reality of it is, it always was directly related to my near death and subsequent severe brain injuries that are the culprit for my PTSD… only because, the abuse started at birth and the abuse continued until I was 17… my body never had a chance… and the brain, it went on its own adventure, Margie was just along for the ride…

I am angry because the military let me down and I will never get justice… I am angry because the VA let me down, and the only thing out of that anger, I helped to get a couple of hospital directors fired… might explain why I have so much issue with the VA, doubt if my IG complaints were buried, but that could be the paranoia because I can’t get a breath of air through my nose!!! so over this…

I am angry, because my parents, Don & Freda will never pay for what they did… people will make all kinds of bull shit excuses, Don’s death was anything but decent…. and I kind of hope Freda will be the same…

I am angry because my sister Peggy lied… for decades she lied, because she thought I didn’t remember her part in all this… my heart just thumped rudely in my chest, that was uncomfortable… sigh…

I am angry that the rapist will never be held accountable….

All this anger has to eventually go someplace and I know, in my heart I will resolve it… and I will accept the choices I make concerning it… if nothing else out of all that abuse, I learned… 

It’s my choices that are important and it’s how I accept what was done and the criminality of the people who did the crimes… and just like Trumps victims…

I will never get justice… and I cling to one thing in my mind… I have hope…

Life will do the job for me… just like I hope the Trump family ends up shopping at Wal-mart in pajamas…  dumbest thing I have ever seen in a store, people shopping with their pajamas on… and people wonder how Trump got elected….

Hello….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who never sought revenge, but let life do the job…

Sgt. USAF DAV