Rough Days Ahead….

Body is sore from the Elliptical… should be fun to get this old body into shape…

Nightmares reared their ugly head… and I keep telling myself I am receptive to seeing the ugly part of Margies journey… but honestly, one little section is screaming, “are you bat shit crazy?”….. a necessary evil to accomplish my goal of full recovery… even if mother and sister are sitting in their little homes with full knowledge of what I need… makes me proud to be related to psycho path christians… NOT!!!

Thanks to Apple’s latest update, they screwed everything up with the internet for my use and probably many others… they made fix’s to that face time crap and in the process they screwed up the VPN and Bluetooth capability, which is what I live by here on Hawaii…

Spent most of my morning trying to pin down the problem with the algorithm and it all goes back to the fix we did yesterday when in town to the Apple software…. so far it seems to be face book that is the most compromised, but I haven’t been able to get notifications to come up on this Word Press either… it took over 24 hours for me to get a notice of a new follower and the likes…. it is already a nightmare doing what I do, now I have to contend with internet vulnerability, because of Apple… AGAIN!!!! so over stupid college educated morons!!!

We are supposed to have high winds and severe weather and will lose power and internet… this will be a long weekend for us, but so will the West Coast, they to will get hammered on the main land… sure there is no global warming…..

Though I do not like big time physical exercise and that is because of the heart beating out of my chest that has bothered me since the near death happened… I am working myself up mentally to get used to the increased cardio and the fact that feeling and hearing my internal workings… is just my lot in life… I will pick up the habit again of ignoring it like I did as a kid… now that I know, this is all normal for me… “You should have just seen the expression on my face”…. normal… what the hell is normal…???

I expect the next week or two to be a learning experience of getting my body used to being active again…Fear had so much control over me and only when I absolutely had no one else to count on, I had to lay those fears aside to accomplish my goals… and this time, I know the truth about my body and I know that until I get there, I do not know my limits… and fear will not be a deciding factor…

One thing I have learned, while waiting for that neurology appointment… I munch when stressed… enough that I gained back 10 pounds… not a big deal, but it’s 10 pounds that will go bye-bye quickly I hope…

Always working towards a better moment in time, so that all the other moments in time are good… as long as I keep pushing and never give into the darkness of defeat… I will be the one coming out of that bucket of shit Freda says I fall into, but I will be smelling like a bouquet…. kind of do already….

Time for that long morning walk… Aloha…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who loved the water… sometimes…

Sgt. USAF DAV