Nightmares are back…. PTSD you are a pain…

If nothing else, when you get answers you are seeking, it frees the mind up for other fun things… NOT!!!

The nightmares are back and they are in over drive… Sleep is happening, but it is interrupted and when I wake, I am left with hints of what I had a nightmare about… meaning… a memory is coming forward…

Getting all the answers about the medical side of this journey, is what relaxed the mind from fixating on health issues and not the mental side of this… and I knew if it was not medical… it would be mental…

Hubby is fully supportive and he is also getting a lesson in think before you open your mouth…

I will be the first to admit, my thought process does not follow the standard line of thinking, I don’t look at the world in any way, shape or form like you… I never have and I never will…

I faced death and came back thriving… I faced the manipulation and bigotry of Freda and Peggy and that made my stomach very sour… but most bigots do… I faced the issues with the abuse my own sons dished out and they can bite my ass… if they think treating me that way is acceptable…it is not, nor will it ever be…

I faced the decades of discrimination because of my mental illness and the bigotry and hate of the religious sect in our country…. I get more kindness out of strangers than people I know… I faced the lies that so many purported, because it wasn’t about me, it was about their agenda… I faced the doctor who took control of my health care, instead of being a guide… and I face the neurologist who would rather use drugs and psycho therapy than help me deal with this journey…

It is never easy to walk through life and when you have barrier after barrier put before you, you have 2 choices… jump the barrier or get buried by the barrier…

I choose to jump the barrier and not listen to the mental workings of those humans who have not walked this path, lived this path or been a part of this path…

I choose to listen to me, it’s what got me this far in life… made me a successful contributing adult to our nation and economy and most of all….

I took my soul back from the corruption of people like christians… and now my soul is a very happy camper…

Nightmares are back and sleep is okay and the journey continues… I could not be any happier with the way things are going… and that light at the end of the tunnel I talked about early on… is within reach…

I just have to want it….

Internet gets installed today, so this may be my only post for a day or two as I get things brought up to speed and get all secure… our security cameras arrive in a couple of days and no one will be able to come on our property again and take what isn’t theirs… and they might want to be cautious on Makuu street, one camera will be pointed directly at it… and the next banger will get his or her picture plastered all over the internet…

Gee I feel like we are becoming civilized getting internet… Rainy and thunderstorms… so much for El Nino… we have been wet, going on 2 years, with very few days of just sun… keeps the air so clean… and everything growing and thriving… much like me…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who loved climbing trees…

Sgt. USAF DAV