We have internet!!!

Stubbornness is so much a part of PTSD… You will do the stupidest and after you are done, you hit your head and say, “I could have had a V8″….

The cost for internet via the satellite service here, was comparable to the price we were paying AT&T for awful service…..

Needless to say, my own stubborn thought process or lack of desire to change the status quo, cost us about 2 grand in the last 2 years… not a lot… but it will be a thorn in my side, because I know better…

It all goes with the PTSD and the desire to have some control, when in reality, the PTSD is in control…

I have so many bad habits that impact so many different aspects of my life… Anger is one of them, letting go and taking down the walls, is another…

After so much emotional pain, I just don’t seem willing to go any direction that will put me in line for more emotional pain… thus the hiding out on Hawaii… but…

That was why I didn’t go with real internet and used the hot spot… I made it hard not only on myself, but made it even harder for the kids and grandkids to reach out…

Some of the walls are of my own making and that is having a major impact on my choices…

Am I willing to move on and can I and do I want to and will it be worth it???

All questions I have to answer, for no one else but myself…. Plan to play with the website and see what all I can do… spent the afternoon taking care of all the other equipment and updating…  at least now I can upload video of Hawaii and more pictures…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who withdrew into the world of stories….

Sgt. USAF DAV