Over Thinking… Psychology gets it wrong… my perspective…

Over thinking is not a bad thing… Yet when I read psychology, I do not find much good and that is for one reason only…. Psychology has blinders on…

What gets me about the college educated, none of them have ever lived what I lived… None of them had multiple brain injuries from toddler age up to 17 years old… None of them lost time, memory or existence… but…

They think over thinking is a bad thing, because people do not know how to shut the brain down, so you can sleep or be functional in other areas… and that is because of the way we raise our kids… we don’t teach them to think, we tell them how to behave and think and we do a lot of that with religion, which has no thought process, it’s all about manipulation and if that is all you know… over thinking could very well drive you over the edge… maybe…

I look at it from this perspective…. I think all the time, until I climb into bed… Didn’t used too, insomnia and I are old friends… but knowledge is what helped me get to the point, when in bed, its dream land or nightmares and I embrace each night, not fear it… and that is key… Fall in love with your bed again… you loved it as a teenager…

Stephen Hawking was an over thinker, I mean come on, what else was the man to do… he was a prisoner of his body and thinking was his only escape… and so too it is for me… Why??? Well answer this, could you have an intelligent conversation with Hawking on his level??? Could you even grasp his theories or concepts… just a FYI, I have read a couple of his papers and I had to use the dictionary a lot… but… I got it and only because I am willing to over think…

Psychology makes over thinking a bad thing, instead of treating it as an asset… I keep getting asked by health care professionals if I sought mental health help… and my reply, just how much do you think I can convey in thirty minutes and keep that therapist up to speed with my thought process??? FYI mental health wants you to follow their text-book guideline on therapy, got a chuckle out of that write… Not possible for me… and this is why…

At some time I knew I was burying my past, hiding the clues and running in opposite direction, instead of addressing the issues I was living with daily… I knew this by the time I was 18 years old…

By the time 2010 rolled around and I knew I was missing memory, I had to address the elephant in the room… I quit thinking and ignored every clue out there that would have ended this journey decades ago… Fear is a powerful chemical reaction in the brain… It took watching Don Bagwell die in 2006 and the way the family acted for me to over come that fear… all based on a god that is man-made and used for one purpose, manipulate your life…

When I confronted Freda in 2010 about the missing memory, that was when I started over thinking and fighting for answers…. 9 years ago, Freda and Peggy both living and living now and I am the one fighting for my life… keep in mind I am loved, yada, yada, yada… as long as I don’t remember….

By over thinking, I kicked my brain back into gear and started problem solving… I am still doing it today… what I had to over come… the insomnia, the night-time brain drain…. for me, it was as simple as changing my diet, giving up alcohol and cigarettes, eliminating medication and most of all taking 800 mg of magnesium an hour before bed….

It took me about a year to get into a good pattern of sleep, a pattern I stick to today… and my sleepless nights given over to over thinking are gone, haven’t had one, can’t remember when the last all nigh ter happened…

By over thinking, I am able to analyze,  tear apart, explore and most of all, eliminate the fake or misleading information I have in my brain….

Over thinking can take you down the dark path and you could take your own life… teaching the brain to explore why you go there and why it feels so good when you do it, if you are open and honest… you can take that thought process into the light…

I guess what I am trying to convey, there is nothing wrong with over thinking as long as it is in the light… but, you head to the dark side and it can destroy you…. they say they will never understand Ted Bundy… and they get it wrong… the dude was brilliant, but he got off on the chemical reaction in his brain by killing, he made a conscious choice and knew the end game results… but he got off on the chemical in his brain, he was that aware of how the brain works… most over thinkers do… it is always about choice… Ted Bundy went for the dark path, because that is what gave him satisfaction…

I took the lighted path, because that is what gets me excited…. I have written from the beginning… Life is about choice… some over thinkers have no control or say and those are the ones that have true mental illness… People like me who search for truth and all that is good in the world, go the other direction… People like Bundy… they just do it to get their rocks off… nothing mental about that, just a matter of choice…

That is really all life is… choices…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who was always thinking…

Sgt. USAF DAV