Levels of Depression because of TBI…

At the Arkansas VA, I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and when I asked the question… “Why am I depressed”… the doctor could not answer, but he wanted to put me on anti-depressant… and for a while I took them and tossed them after a while….

VA is good about medicating when they don’t want to take the time to do the job… but I also think back to when they changed the way paperwork was done and made it more about a paper trail and not health care… that could explain the down fall of the VA, they forgot they were treating patients and made us all into numbers, statistics…

The VA doc told me this back in 2004 and I didn’t disagree with him, I just asked why was I depressed…

By this time I had quit taking Premarin hormone therapy and I was in my 40’s at that time… quit the Anti depressant, quit the Gerd medication, quit the Anxiety medication… so I was left with cholesterol and thyroid medication…

After our move to Hawaii and the thyroid started reversing itself… I had been off the cholesterol drug for about a year… so I knew it was not the culprit, making my depression worse than it was…

Now the doc in Arkansas was 2004, by this time I had been on Levothyroxine for 12 years… the one drug all the doctors kept telling me not to quit…

Fast forward to this past fall and my crazy writing about all the symptoms I was having… I was over dosing on Levothyroxine and I was not heard, when I kept saying this is a drug I should never be on…

I discontinued that drug 31 days ago… so where am I at with depression…. 

It’s there, just not all-consuming and not interfering with my every waking or sleeping moment… it’s there, but in a different way, not as intrusive, not as aggressive and most of all not as paranoid…

My depression will always be with me, because I suffered a severe traumatic brain injury… it will just never own me again, like it did while I took a man-made drug, Levothyroxine…

Strokes take, they take mobility, they take memories, they take ability, they take your filter… you couple that with all the other brain injuries I had…. 

I am not the one that needs to accommodate anyone… it’s the other way around… Which really does explain why I live the life I live… I got tired of accommodating everyone else…

The brain is clear, the depression is exactly what I expect from my stroke at 13 years old… It’s time for everyone else to take off their blinders if they want to be a part of my life… and that will never change…

I was forced to change at 13, when Don & Freda took my life… my choice taken from me… I’m taking that choice back now…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who once new life without depression before she was 8 years old…

Sgt. USAF DAV