Dear Diary I am about 17 years old…

By now we are living on Okinawa… I have only a couple of memories of Japan and my first real boyfriend… Ssgt Dave Hansen… sweet guy…

But he got left behind on Japan and once we got into base housing at Naha, life got very interesting….

I could sleep like the dead and the sleep was not restful… High school was not challenging and I was very bored, but still graduated on time… 

I am leaving one morning to bowling league and make a comment as I leave the house and find myself deposited 10 feet across the room and realizing, my knees looked like raw hamburger… damn, that makes twice with the knees already!!!

As I picked myself up off the floor, mom told dad he should not have done that… she knew all I had to do, call the cops… I was considered an adult on the base at 17… hitting me was not a smart thing for the man to do, but he had more fear and anger in his heart than he had love…

I left the house and as I walked to the bowling alley I was losing a memory with every step…

The brain could take no more… all the abuse from birth to this last final blow any human gave me… took my first 17 years of life and impacted my memory ability up to the age of 19… remember I flunked the AF entrance exam and passed it with my choice of job the next time…

Dear diary… as I walked away from that house on Naha… Mom did not know, that last blow took my childhood and a couple of years of my adult life… and the next 46 years would be one hell of a lesson about life, truth and christians…

Dear diary, I still do not know what I did to any of those people or why some still think it is okay to keep quiet about what happened…

I hear the rain cascade down from the sky and clap of thunder and think, that is how my soul feels… 

I never laid a hand or mouth of hate like mom and dad did to me… dear diary it is a dark place I must go… the sea of faces in my nightmares the screaming and yelling voices I silenced for so long… have come back to rock me to sleep at night…

I know diary, If I can write the story… the rest of it will continue to be one big adventure… still so much to see and understand, if anything about violence is understandable… none of this will happen fast… as with the slow moving storm above me, so too my soul must make the same journey… I just hope the decades have taught me enough…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who could never stay mad at you…

Sgt. USAF DAV