TBI & Repressed Memories, how knowing changed everything…

I will make this statement a million times before the book is done… how my mother, father, brother and sister can keep silent…okay dad has been dead 13 years… but the other 3 people are living and guess what, not a peep out of any of them… not a sound… quiet as the graveyard, except on Halloween… ever been in a graveyard on that night… oh so much fun… 

But my mommy and siblings… not talking… as much as I hate to admit it… hypnosis is something I will have to let happen… the neurologist thinks the memories are their…. the stroke did hit a small area of the brain, was it enough to wipe out the memories… I don’t think so…

Letting the story go about a family dynamic that never existed is easier than I thought it would be… only time my phone rang and to this day it is true… when someone wanted to pick my brains, instead of paying for it… Mike can back that up… our kids are the only ones who call and don’t want something, most of the time… okay, they use my noggin too…

But the family part for me… never existed and wrapping my head around the abuse they did in the name of christianity… and the crimes they committed and still do… it is easy to let that world go… I never was a part of it and I let it play a part in my life to long…

What I find interesting… the emotional feelings I had before Levothyroxine are rearing their heads in my brain and soul… it’s nice to know, my family didn’t kill everything about me… just a tiny fraction and that part is almost alive and kicking… a little more time, it has only been 16 months since I remember…

The medical side, is more settled and understood… the medical diagnosis that makes sense and fits, helps… the mental part of this… going to take longer… our move throws a wrench into the mix… but it is necessary…

Right now the house is closed up and heater is on, it’s that chilly at sea level on Hawaii… So it’s quiet and peaceful… but I hate being closed up and the jack hammer will start-up in a while and the road noise will pick up… so the move is the right choice… now if we can decide on west or east Washington, land or existing home or possibly build a home… those choices will be made this year and those are stressful enough… as this is our final home… no more moves… unless nature makes us move…

I am happy with the progress… other than lack of consistent sleep… no complaints… Every morning is a surprise on the progress my brain and I are making… working together and not against each other… to bad Trump and christians can’t figure that one out… the truth they spout and the truth I spout… 2 different worlds and that is a fact…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie and being told, never tell anyone…to late…

Sgt. USAF DAV