Domestic violence and blunt force trauma… physical pain still, 60 years later…

On Japan, after that beating and about a year after the stroke and about a few months after the brain bleed… which is why I think Japan plays such a pivotal role in my brain issues, but not the skeletal… those I contribute to mom and her yard stick beating after the TV host interview…

I remember after I caught my right hand in the Belair’s car door and broke 2 fingers, I was only about 11 or 12 and the guy at the base ER said I would have arthritis in both hands and I never forgot that… My right hand I understand… my left hand not so much… more to remember…

By the time I was in the Air Force the osteopathic doctor I was seeing at Vance, did all kinds of tests and X-rays… that is when we found my rib cage was heavily calcified and little did we know, it was a result of the beatings I got as a child… he did ask if I had been in any accidents or been beaten and I told him no… and I called mother and I did ask… of course her response, “nothing happened to you as a child except for the normal illness'”… sigh…. remember I posted my MRI showing the stroke from 13 years of age!!!

By this time, I had cortisone injected into my knee, I couldn’t get down on my hands and knees and I had lots of pain when I ran, which was required for PT every year in the military… by the time I was discharged in 83, I was forced to walk 3 miles, instead of run the mile and half… because of skeletal issues…

The impact of doing certain things through out my life since I was a child are painful… what has the write up have anything to do with anything…

PT the other day, he had me get on a small trampoline and jump up and down, I only did a few and winced in pain and he noticed… I had to remind him of all the blunt force trauma from childhood and the modeling of my skeletal, makes it heavier than it should be and is painful to run or jump… so no more of that type of exercise… Impact exercise will never be on the menu for this journey, the pain is off the charts….

I never understood the restrictions towards the end of my military career and found in my records, it was recommended I meet a medical board… that never happened, it was more important they cover up the rape and attempted murder of my children, so I was forced out…

I really do not have the energy to go after the military and the VA… and I am not sure any lawyer wants to take on this nightmare, but we will ask… maybe they will win and our kids will be rich… it could take that long in the courts…

Regardless, there have been many things I have tried to do and got cut off at the pass because of my body limitations that I didn’t understand, but do now… Flying lessons, I couldn’t push the pedals down easily for landing… and those brakes, you want… Practice to jump out of a good airplane, yep, I did practice a couple of times and got injured… Endurance of any kind and impact sports… nope those choices were taken from me after the TV host beating at age 5… my life determined by christians who tried to beat their man-made god into my body… it didn’t work, just a FYI…

The PT is teaching me how to work with the limitations I have always had since the first severe beating at age 5… I just might make the next 40 or 50 years more pleasant to live… instead of fighting the unknown… the memories are giving me a positive quality of life… I just have to work a little harder for it….

Now if I could get the sleep factor under control, I would almost be a happy camper… but we are trying to figure out our next move and make use of every dime we have… it’s our last move, if I have any say…. so stress is playing it’s role right now… I am only limited by what I let my mind tell me I am limited on… it’s when I can no longer take the physical pain, do I back off from a goal… when that happens, I look at my goal and try a few hundred scenarios out, until I find a goal that I can accomplish with my limitations… always learning a new way to do things… kids born without limbs don’t seem to let that limit them… I have all mine, it’s just how well can I work out the best way to work with what I got… sometimes physical is only limited by the mental….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who loved to play outside, even when in constant pain…

Sgt. USAF DAV

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