My anger will not change the outcome, they have to want too….

Something lately bothering about this whole mess of remembering… my anger…

I get my hunger anger, which is rumbling as I write…

I get my medication anger from levothyroxine for the last 26 years…

What I struggle with right now, my current anger… as for my anger towards our kids, they will either grow or won’t…. that is their life choice…

My anger with my birth family, my living mother, sister and older half-brother, the younger siblings that stole material property and personal…  my aunt and cousins… that anger is something I am getting tired of carrying around… why???

They are not worth it… none of them… and because I acknowledge this little lesson in life, some of that anger is melting away and by years end, it will just be a memory… a bad one at that… but still just a memory…

People find it fascinating I had a kid, went into basic training 2 months after the birth of that child, all the while not knowing I had a stroke 10 years before at the age of 13… people find my life interesting, because I didn’t know my handicap and fought constantly to over come it… the physical side of this journey, scary at times, devastating at others… but when it counted, my body was their to save my son’s lives…

It really is ironic… I gave auntie, cousins, brothers, sisters and mother… all the opportunity in the world to tell their side of the story… and they all counted on that one statement at Alines house… she won’t remember anything… and my heart flutters at the thought…

Going back to black… not knowing, terrified, fighting demons that were in these people’s skin…and I let go a big sigh… people playing god… plain and simple… nothing more than what Trump is doing.. or any rapist…or thief or what ever label you choose…

It will take some time for my emotional state to get back to a normal pattern that I recognize… hormones and women, oh so going to enjoy watching the girls in my life as they age… and just smile…

All anyone had to do… tell me the truth and let me deal with it… instead they hide behind a man born on this planet that they call a god… I feel sorry for their pathetic empty lives… they fear so much and miss out on even more… I loved them and now I do not… I just pity them… they chose to play god with my life….

That was a mistake on their part…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who loved easily…

Sgt. USAF DAV