Love… Respect… Honesty… Hardest way to live life…

At some moment in time, I made a choice in life to live by the above statement… and I have no regrets… because I know the life I have lived and continue to do so…

As my brain takes all the chaos of memories that have been buried for decades… I see the measures I took to protect myself as I re-learned life, never letting them know how damaged I truly was… if I did, that gave them more power over me… Mom, Dad, Brother & Sister… Aunts, Uncles, Granny, including friends….

By the time I turned 13 years old, the brilliant mind I was born with, was struggling to stay above water and had not other choice but to acquiesce to the elders for survival… but the brain didn’t completely capitulate over… no it held onto a desire to make everyone pay… Revenge… but how to go about it and not turn out like the christians that took a childs life???

Not change, hide, but never change… I had to make choices… and those choices had to be genuine… the CON would never work for me, I was to transparent in my emotions… or at least I thought I was… come to find out, people interpreted my attitude and outer cover as confidence… how poorly these people learned to observe their fellow human… thus the word assumptions in our vocabulary….

I was born knowing nothing but truth, I will die, doing the same… so I did not change, though god and religion did all it could to take truth and honesty and integrity from me… but most of all I escaped with my soul and individuality… so, no I did not change from who I was born to be… but I had to hide to survive…

Loving someone is the easiest thing on the planet… Respecting them is a whole different condition and not one that comes easy….

The one thing I have not done to my family and friends and kids and grandkids…

I have never disrespected them… I told the truth… and that is not what they want to hear… gee that does sound like Trump and his religious bigot base…

None of my family, friends or relatives can say the same… even on face book… oh that is such a fun tool…

Why is this subject so important to me???

TRUST… it is not given, it is earned… I have never done anything to anyone on this planet to violate that sacred word….

TRUST… no one I know can say the same, including my husband of 25 years… he had to earn it back… no one else has truly bothered… or apologized…

Really does explain why I prefer to live such a solitary life… less painful…

I have been fortunate in life to have lived it all, love, pain, loss, death and I experienced each and everyone one of those moments in time… because of christians…

I am getting close to moving again and that final home will not meet all my expectations… only because people have to want to change and so few bother to improve upon which they are born with… now if you figure this statement out you are right up there with all thinkers who believe knowledge is power….

I love many people and respect so very few… I need more of Margie’s acceptance to come back into my life… so many years of being used does that to a person…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… and when christians god showed its true face…

Sgt. USAF DAV

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