Re-writing History… Changing the thought process….

Everybody has a favorite saying, movie, TV show, song, mantra… you name it, we all have one… mine has been for a very long time… “Live for Today”… tomorrow is not promised no matter how much social religion tells you other wise… we get one chance, make the best of it or you will miss out on the best of it… it goes in a flash… Life….

Air Force shrink said I was average intelligence… don’t know how he got that answer, the tests they gave me was the most basic and identical to the one the El Paso VA gave me with different results… “Above Average Intelligence”….text book, doesn’t make it so… what I have done with my life and what I have over come… tells the world just how smart or not so smart I am…

Once I knew I had died and had a stroke and a brain bleed… once I proved these actions happened to a little girl at 13 years old… once that MRI proof was in my hands… doubt did start to melt away… though the other day I had a day with doubt…

I feel sorry for my younger sibling, the one that became a preacher… he thinks he’s bi-polar… when in fact he watched me die… he is 6 years younger than me… he was only 6 1/2 the night I died in front of him and his younger brother and his older sister….. so much damage, because of lies….

I am re-writing the past, as the memories come back… I have hope that all the memories will be there like the neurologist said… Hypnosis, will be an option… but I have heard nothing good about my old VA facility in Spokane… so, private health care as our distance from the VA will be over 60 miles… I have so little faith in mental health…

When I was looking at my VA records I came across a statement about my having been diagnosed with PTSD back in 1999…. and it was confirmed at El Paso VA in 2010…. but it wasn’t until 2017, Nov 7 when I woke up from my nightmare of lost time…. and I still have questions…. and I have no memory of being told I had PTSD back in 1999???

So much to do, before we put the house on the market and we are slowly getting there… sheds full of extra junk that is no help with staging a house… so we are getting down to the bare bones of living…

Excited to go look at properties… we have found so many, it will take us a while to be sure we choose the right one… selected a couple on the east side of Washington… now looking on the west side on the ocean… our last purchase… no more moving… yea…

I can not change what was done to me… but I can grow from what I have learned…. The past is still missing many pieces for me to close that chapter… that road trip to Texas may be more important than I thought…

It is all coming together as we get ready to go home….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who loved to read about greek mythology….

Sgt. USAF DAV