Margie left me so many clues…

I wrote about playing in an industrial park that had been torn down and how we walked on top of the cement pylons that were about 12 feet off the ground, probably taller… I was only about 11, when we played at this place in Alabama… the boob incident state…

After Texas and the lost time and not making memories…. the memory of the beating on Japan and the probable brain bleed, only because I remember the symptoms and my training tells me I am right about that moment in time…

I have scattered memories from the stroke in Texas to the blow upside the head on Okinawa… Margie left me clues and she left very good clues at that…

When the neurologist tried to insist that my memories could be false, I had to stop him dead… already been down that path and he knew nothing of the PTSD, Memory ability, High IQ, yada, yada…. it’s the real memories that are the most painful… the false ones, just kind of burn off into smoke, as they had no substance to begin with… why??? because Margie left me clues….

I am so itching to write the story, but thanks to the dreams again, I can’t…. we have already decided to do a road trip next year and hit the places I remember… the house in Texas is still standing… so are a couple other places… everything else is gone because of progress… 

I am using all the clues Margie left me to stitch together the parts of the story I find confusing… it’s a chore, but, once in a while I get a smile out of the memory….

Today the PT nurse said she had a hard time wrapping her head around the abuse I survived… so I did this with of course a big shit eating grin….

“You are welcomed to enter my brain, I am more than ready for a vacation, because if you think it easy to go into the dark place that religious fanatics live, I promise you, it is a fun house from hell… but you are welcomed to take a trip and see how far you get”….

I could write the story as a 3rd person… but I think hearing it from Margie with her words and perspective…  no clue how it will be received… but I got no takers for giving me a vacation…

Margie has let me know she is tired… at some point I will have to release her… she has been a prisoner of this story way to long…

We all deserve freedom and that 5-year-old spirit that was squashed because she told the truth… is starting to taste what freedom really is…

A vacation from this will come… once I tell the whole story… Margie can have a long sleep after that….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who never understood the hate she received… and still does…

Sgt. USAF DAV