PTSD is evolving….

3 months off the Levothyroxine and I feel like a new person… almost… a few more months of exercising, I might feel almost there… sort of…

Very little sleep and I am trying to figure out what the catalyst is, causing the sleep interruption…

Very cranky today and had to deal with the credit bureau about the service we pay for, never like dealing with those I can not understand on the phone.. so frustration on top of little sleep and I didn’t go ballistic on the supervisor at Experian… so yep, progress….

The dreaming is there and it is vivid and yes I am remembering… most of it is just normal every day stuff that went on as a kid… but it just shows me that the neurologist was right, the memories may be there and I need to ratchet down my expectations and let nature do its thing…

Add stress of the move and getting our ducks in a row… I am surprised how I handle the stress and my response to it…

Lots of pain in the left fore arm, soreness from the muscle coming back to life… I get lots of nerve pain and some areas that had no feeling or strength, they are getting better or are better than what was happening before the physical therapy…

Trying to tolerate a little pounding when on the elliptical… that jarring when I ramp up my speed, lets me know just how thick those ribs are from all the beatings I got as a child… it makes sense what the Air Force flight surgeon said… “it’s like you were a prize-fighter”… that was 1978, I was 24 years old and my rib cage x-rays said my ribs looked like those of a 64-year-old woman… which is what I am now… so you can imagine how much more calcification my ribs have done with aging on top of the injuries from childhood… so, it explains why it is painful to pound that part of my body, but I am doing it and finally too a point, where the pain is subsiding and I can tell the muscle is doing its job…

This is all a slow progress… It takes energy, desire and most of all motivation and that part of my brain when it comes to exercise, goes the other direction…. as long as I wake up sore every day, I am doing what is needed… just wonder if I am going to be sore forever???

As for confusion or speech issues or any cognitive problems… nothing that I haven’t dealt with since the near death in Big Springs, Texas in 1967 and brain bleed on Japan in 68/69….

We have had lots of interest in our house, before its up for sale, so we know, it will go quickly and we will be back on the mainland before we know it…

I see sunshine for the first time in days… time to get chores done and get busy… we did our mile walk late due to rain….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… and her pucking all over dad and Johnny… after the TV beating… in dad’s fancy Belair… amazing how these memories work… I was 6 yrs old…

Sgt. USAF DAV

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