PTSD… beating the depression….

I would say around 2 or 3 AM the rooster decided we needed to know how proud he was…. after 4 crows, he went back to sleep… but I didn’t…

As I tossed and turned… the bones started to hurt, something I am all to familiar with after the beating at 5 years old with that old fashion wooden ruler… 60 years later, I still live with pain and this day, it is making it’s self well-known to me, as I stretch, flap my arms around like in Ti-chi, flex, anything I can do… to get the pain to back off and I seem to make it worse and I have no one to blame but myself…

When depression ruled my world, which was the last 60 years…. I, like anyone else, succumbed to it and in so doing… let the depression weaken my body and my mind…

As the time has passed since getting my memories back, lets see going on 17 months… the depression has had less of a hold… quitting the levothyroxine was the final hold on my depression….or lets say stopping the drug, took the nail out of my coffin….

Now it’s, I know I need to exercise, that way I don’t wake up in the middle of the night, with my feet curled in, my legs and ankles so tight, I can barely flex them and the pain in my shoulders… hitting the high-end of the chart for pain…. all because the last couple of days I have been too busy to take time to exercise and my body is letting me know…

I ignored my body for decades, because I was so focused on fixing my brain… and I am finding that without a health body… the brain is not a happy camper and the only one to blame…. 

Me…

Motivation has always been something of a conundrum… If it’s something I like doing or know it’s a necessary evil… no problem… but doing exercises so my body will feel better, when I feel like crap…. lets put it this way Maggi & Margie have had some knock down dragged out arguments about getting off the ass and moving it….this morning early wake up of pain, is all the motivation I need… and today, those exercises will get fit into my schedule…..

If I don’t hold myself accountable, how can I expect anyone else to do the same????

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who was never good in sports…

Sgt. USAF DAV