Recovering from a stroke you didn’t know about…

Though I had many clues over the decades and I did ask mommy dearest repeatedly over the decades and it was only when I confronted mommy in her kitchen in 2010 that I knew something was terribly wrong and had been for ….. DECADES!!!!!

When I told Freda I was missing memory, I was fishing… all I had, my gut instincts, that something between me and my birth family was not what it appeared to be… Trump can poison the most educated mind… so mommy dearest is no different… a con is a con…

Her refusal to tell me what happened to me and the fear she presented me with, which was the only time I saw her express fear… Anger, hatred, malice, jealousy, envy, greed and lust oh and vanity…. those I saw on a regular basis… but fear, nope… when she realized I was aware of my past, she wanted me gone… wrote about it already….

Old pain has reared its ugly head… pain I remember having after the TV beating… Pain I remember having after the Boob beating and pain I remember having after the Texas near death and beating…. wow 60 years of remembered pain, because of christian adults… and the boy scouts raised hell about gays in the organization and it was and is no different than the catholic church or baptist, mormon… aww jeez all of them are corrupt…

The pain is familar and I remember as the body compensated in many ways to deal with the very pain that has come back to haunt me… all because my body is getting in shape and it is now fighting agains the old injuries and damage that has fused… big sigh on that…

I will always have pain, physically… not much I can do about it… and drugs, I’ll pass… good old pot does the job most of the time, though my lungs are ready for a vacation… and when it doesn’t work, I get more active, so that I take my mind off the pain and can fall into bed exhausted, which we are doing…. house goes up for sale next week…

The PT kids have taught me what I am dealing with and as time goes by, I hope to learn more to make my quality of life as good as it can be…

The pain will always be a reminder of what others did to a child’s body… but this child survived… so many do not…

We are done with the interior of the house, couple of things to do outside and realtor will be here next week to list it…

We hope it sells quickly, we are pricing it so that it will… we are ready to go home and be a part of the lives that welcome us home….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who thought pain was just normal every day life… she knows now, how wrong that thought was…

Sgt. USAF DAV