Memories and the book….

So many memories have come back… I still have moments in time, when the time frame of the memory is not in continuity with my thought process… 

Have I remembered anything new, yes and no… sometimes it feels like a new memory and I will have a PTSD nightmare dream and see more of the memory and it starts to link together…

I am itching to put the first draft down, only because the chaos of the brain injuries and repressed memories are settling down to a pattern I can manage….

It is rare that my brain will try to throw me off track anymore, clinging to the hope that the domestic violence never happened and all those brain injuries and stroke were just fantasy… and I have to go back to the MRI done here in Hilo and it says different…

It proved that I suffered a severe brain injury and when I published that MRI, my birth family scampered off into the mouse-hole world they created… and they wonder why the lives they live are so miserable….

I am hoping next summer, we can make that trip to Big Springs, Texas, the place I died… the place that took so much of my life with it, all for a baby not of my dad’s blood… all because a christian woman could not live the christian life, in fact none of them do and that you can take to the bank… Why???

Because you have to truly look in that mirror and judge yourself the way your religion judges everyone else and christians can’t do it… Dorian Gray stares back at them…

Kids want to walk through and inspect the home with us gone, oh joy, have to pack a few things and lock them up… dogs get to go for a ride, they love rides… spoiled monsters too…

People up,  down Makuu and the noise is distracting… I so need that quite and peace to write the story and write until I can no longer type or dictate… those are the days I am looking forward too…

Countdown has started, we know when we are leaving… and the next adventure begins…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell, because courage comes in many forms…

I Remember… Margie and the first man to molest her…

Sgt. USAF DAV