“Some Things are Best Not Remembered”…. per Freda… edited

How’s that for a title of my book???

We were out doing our mile walk and I was chewing hubby up for our 4 hour stint in the ER last night… he went by ambulance and I had to drive… oh yea… not on the way home in the dark though!!!

Anyhow, my mind has been formulating the start of my book and how to approach it, so that it has interest for those who like this kind of bizzare story… to true to be fake news….

I got to thinking of Freda in the kitchen at that old dinning set from my childhood and her facing the yard and when I made the statement…

“I am missing memory”…. she dropped her head and stated….

“Some things are best not remembered”…. and the god complex or doubts I had, went flying out the door… the only gods on this planet are humans and they play god on a daily basis….

So much of my childhood has come back and most of it, not pleasant…. it was a tit for tat type household…. they beat the crap out of you and buy your silence with outings, new clothes, new shoes or even a little cash… the true christian way… Buy silence….

While in the ER I sat and read a neurological paper out of the UK and found it fascinating how the study they did on religion and the brain… and nothing new here on this… you can convince yourself to believe anything… even a human flesh god… and hey, look at the Trump worshipers…. you really can not fix stupid…

The paper went on about how, religion is nothing more than a fantasy made up in the minds of humans, because they lack the ability to believe in themselves, so they make up gods and rationalize the reality of existence… in their mind… like I have always said, mental illness is more pervasive than you can possibly imagine….

I would say the multiple brain injuries I got from christians is what protected me from christians… they tried to steal my soul, instead they killed my body, since they believe a heart beat is the signs of life… honest you can not fix stupid… so much for education in America….

I prefer the reality that my brain is the only muscle that proves life or death…. any machine can keep my heart beating, there is nothing that can keep my brain going…. except…… ME…..

Last night was a painful reminder of what is to come, with hubby and his deterorating heart…. the left ventricle is dead, no longer functioning… only his physical activity and the man made drugs are keeping him alive now… hope last night was a wake up call for him…

We are in hurricane season, and summer… not likely to get much traffic for the house and I expect us now to be on the market for at least 6 months before we sell…. been doing real estate to long, to not recognize the signs I am seeing here, because of dumb ass christians and Trump destroying our economy…. it’s now impacting us….

We are looking for land and plan to go manufactured…. we figure buy now and that way we have a place to move to… so realtor is on the hunt for our wants….

Not much in the way of PTSD nightmares, its more of just remembering the past and that happens at any moment of the day or night…. the wall I had up for so long is melting away… but the ugly, its pushing forward slowly, I feel it when the emotions come on for no reason and that is when I get a glimpse of Texas…………………………..

The rest of the issues related to all the blunt force trauma my body endured… exercise, diet and mental attitude… all take effort and desire and mostly motivation…. last night reminded me, how important my own health is, when dealing with a dying partner….

Rainy, wet day…. think today will be a little laid back after my workout and chores… still tired from last night and our late time getting home….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell, ask the christians they know everything and know nothing…

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie…

Do humans have a religion instinct…. was the article out of UK at BBC…..