I was always in the Driver’s Seat…

As much as I rag about what I have been thru… and you figure, it’s my right… I am the one that endured the beatings from the time I was able to walk until I stood up to the man an told him to never touch me again… and that was the last physical blow anyone gave me… I don’t consider the rapes in this category….

What got me this morning the reperations for slaves of America??? Are these morons on the same planet as me???

I will never get compensated or justice, neither will the millions of other survivors…

The only thing I get out of all this… KNOWING my mother Freda, my sister Peggy are reading this blog and they now know, their lies were for naught… just like Trumps smoke and mirrors, I saw through their’s a very long time ago… and, have been laying my traps ever since and when they stepped in and jumped up and down on my trap… that’s all she wrote, as they say….

At times I wanted to go the road of revenge and the battle between right and wrong would go on, for an eternity and it always was just a few seconds…

It’s not in my nature… I like sleep and I happen to be a human with a conscience… which is so rare anymore… and Mike will tell you little stories about things I do to save life…. things I don’t talk about… because no one cared about my life…. I don’t want other life to feel that…

Habits and behaviors and all that jazz that goes on this road to recovery is a fascinating journey and I get why I pissed off the Psychologist and the Neurologist…. I have lived these brain injuries since the first one at 5 years old… that 60 years of experience, that no text book can compare….

Hypnosis… I have such a full blown mental block against it, I doubt anyone can do it on me… you really have to be receptive…. last night we kept the AC on and had the house closed, we do that so we can sleep past the roosters and I dreamed… same dream… but I dreamed…

So I know the memory is there, just getting past Margie so I can see it is the next step….

Decided to get hold of Tri west and see if we have a different eye surgery clinic in Kona… I won’t let the idiot on this side touch me… that was a poorly run business and no one wanted to discuss the TBI’s and the new lens… it was all about money, not patient… these are my eyes…. they are important to me…

We got the ceiling repairs done, painted and will have to give the paint a few days to blend with the ceiling… we are humid and it takes things longer to cure, when so wet… but the AC last night should help…

Since we are not moving real soon, plan to get blood done in Sept and see if thyroid numbers are still up… I am losing weight and sleep is good, as long as we beat the roosters and heat…. but, curious if the HGH pills helped any….

Exercise… the disconnect between my tissue, nerves, muscles, ligaments, brain…. you name it… it’s like being a puppet and you never know what part of the body will refuse to respond… so we set up the guest room as my office and work out room… and I am ready to get the brain and body back to talking to each other… as I scratch the right side of my face from my chin to my brow and notice numbness, which has been there since the near death at 13…….

The day is started, we have ceiling fans to put back up, expensive curtain rods and I need to do wall and trim touch up painting… There really is nothing more we can do to this property… but if we don’t sell by this fall, we are finishing the flooring and removing the bedroom carpet and put pergo in those rooms and I will be raising the price… just the flooring alone, raises the price by $10,000 it’s that expensive to buy but it cost you 3 times the cost for install… and people will learn quickly, my house is under priced…. we are ready to go home…. but I am always planning….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie….