60 years of PTSD….

I never got why Freda treated me like I was ignorant, until I caught her in a lie, when I was a pre-teen in Bonita, Louisiana…. the place she got pregnant…

That was before the stroke and near death at 13, after the birth of my half sister… she really should get a DNA test, that way she can go leech off her daddy’s line….

The nuances of PTSD, I can go back and tell you that around the age of 8, after the boob beating and another brain injury, likely a mini stroke…. I recognized a change in my personality… not bad for a 8yr old…

By this time I had no relationship with anyone in that household… not the parents or the siblings… it was all an act of survival… and fighting the brain washing of christianity…..

By the time the near death and major stroke happened in Big Springs, Texas… it was a full on battle for survival and I don’t mean in the physical world… but the world inside our brains and boy what a journey it has been and 98% of the time the Military and VA mental health got it 100% wrong and thanks to their stupidity… they documented it in my VA records and military records… talk about incompetence, negligence and flat out bigotry against military women… mine is well documented… so thank you dumb ass’s for providing proof that in government it is about keeping women down… not raising them up… and I am living proof of that….

Sorry I digress….

The PTSD evolved and I fought it, but little did I know that the brain injury I sustained, altered my personality and without help from the professionals I was in free fall from 13 years of age until I got my memories back Nov 7, 2017 after the Sutherland Springs, Texas killings….

I asked a shrink when they were pushing me out of the military if you could change your personality, his expression I never forgot, it was a flash of recognition of my intelligence and his answer was anything but professional…. my first clue, I had been played by my own government to protect the military base that allowed my child to be raped on a Federal installation… you think what is happening at the border is bad, you have no real clue, the reality of the military or any of government’s true workings… again… prime exampe right here, right now… my dependent medical records are sealed by the same government, now who would want to cover up attempted murder????? Why the U. S. Air Force of course….

Acknowledgement has been the key to winning my battle against the PTSD… It’s not over, I still have some memories to recover and freakishly, they come back at their own time and schedule… so cranky nights I still have, but not like I used to…. before I remembered…..

I had read that PTSD can be a life time nightmare, like it will be for those in war torn countries or the immigrants at the border being treated the way jews were treated… inhumanily….. not the America I know and love, but the America of white nationalist, who have only been in our country for 1 century… mine have been here for 5 centuries and Mikes, native American… Trump and his base are nazi infiltrators and nothing more..or Russian….

Sorry I digress again…

Facing the reality of what christians did to me and are still doing to humans around the planet, I can only hope, that raptrue happens any second and takes the dumb ass’s off our planet….

Again, it’s about acceptance that those who were in charge, still in charge, think it is okay to do what they did and what they are doing at the border….

I am lucky, I have the ability to crawl out of the darkness of hell that christians created… so many will choose drugs and other forms of abuse to deal with the demons that christians created, because they so fear life and what they did and plan to do to their fellow human…because their god will forgive them… holy crap on a cracker you can’t fix stupid…..

Acceptance of the insanity playing it’s self out in America and what happened in my parents christian home….

Sure makes me want to buy 100 acres and grow nothing but garlic to ward off the bat shit crazy people who profess to know god….. wow, just holy crap on a cracker wow…

I know that the PTSD is melting away… I still have moments, but they are controllable, If, I so choose… always about choice… always…..

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie, who now accepts that christians are the most evil people on the planet…