Missing memory and Seizures…

The headache on the left side of my teporal pariteal area has been consistent… not sure if tooth related or brain…

When the headaches got to be annoying and I went back over conversations with the neurologist and the doctor… I decided to do a little research… not something I recommend, self diagnosis, hypochondria is a real problem for many people… but I know what I am looking for and I have the MRI & MRA radiologist report and thoughts… so I do have a direction between all 3 to have an idea where to look…

If you have a life long issue with seizures, it can impact your memory… now do I think that is what has happened to me… no, I doubt it, but I have to pursue all, so that when it comes down to it… the abnormal brain wave, is just normal for me and there are billions out there just like that and I may be one of them…

The road block I hit… when I get to 17 years old and the memories are disjointed and scattered…. they are clear, but interperting what I am remembering is not all that easy… I have people who don’t want me to remember and they tired very hard to fill my memory with their stories and not the reality of what my body lived….or the brain…

As much as I would like to nail the VA to the cross on the surgery in 2011, I have my doubts that other than being over sedated and incompetence of the nurses arguing before sedation… they will kill a patient and that will be the end of their career in federal service… so much for patient care…

The only legal thing I can get the VA on right now… making me keep than trans mesh in me for a year, because of scheduling… that cost me a lot of money in the settlement from the manufacturer… I really need a good honest lawyer, do they exist??? sounds like the one I admire, may have used Epsteins girls and that would be one huge down fall for that man… curious…

Chaos, I am learning to understand the chaos wasn’t so much from the flight or fight… though it is looking more like the hippocampus was injured when I was repeatedly dropped on the back of my head as a child from the top bunk deliberately….

Getting through that chaos, putting everything in order… the last 47 years are… I can go back from now to 17 years old and not miss a beat about what, where and when and on occasion who I was involved with and job I was doing…and the place I lived….

Can only do that for a couple places and times in my childhood…. and that makes me go back to Texas, 13 years old and the night the lights went out on Margie and Freda and Don and Peggy and Larry are as silent as the grave… okay Don, he’s already done… the others are living….

Boo.. they are so afraid of me… I have a fantasy of showing up on their doorstep, camera recording as they have a heart attack… instead I just troll the obituaries… true story….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell, because to be heard, someone has to listen…

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie and those big gray eyes, eyes of suicide by parent….