Silent Stroke, when???

Being a brain injury survivor and being stuck with the one thing that seems to have been a constant in my life… honesty… and no matter how often I try and stray from that path, I get yanked back… more than likely, because I have no other choice… the one thing in my life I don’t get to chose over, something I was born with… honesty….

I had major surgery in 2011, to release the nerve in my left leg… the surgery fixed my issue to a point… PT has done the rest… but… when I was in post op… I remembered it and I should not have, because they over sedated me…

When I awoke, the mask for oxygen was so tight, it was cutting into my face and I looked at my fingers and they were blue up to my knuckles… telling me I was oxygen deprived…they gave me to much sedation, I pulled the mask loose and passed out… my next memory, Mike is in the room….

When I went to PT after the surgery, the person doing my stuff, took one look at my left leg and said, I never seen that before… he was referring to the fact, my left leg was turned out, and indication of stroke….

What bothers me, we had lived in that house for over a year and walked the 2 mile path up and down those hills without it bothering me… after the surgery a year later…. I struggled to walk that same path… and I showed signs of having had a small stroke, I think… not sure… that is where the doubt comes into play…

El Paso Hospital Director was one of the guys I fought to get fired and the nurses doing the anesthesia for that surgery got into an argument before knocking me out and I thought as I went under, I wasn’t going to wake up…I didn’t exactly make friends among the doctors, I called them out for negligence more than once… what can I say… silence is not part of my makeup….

Neurology tells me there is no way to tell how long ago strokes happen… with all the science and technology, they can’t tell ya, when you get a bleed on the brain or a stroke, if they don’t catch it when it happens or within days of it…

The only thing that keeps me from saying for sure that I had a stroke while on the table at the El Paso VA…. I didn’t loose memory… but I started having other issues and I just can’t quite seperate them yet…

Doubt is part of this journey to figure it all out…

If I hadn’t confronted Freda in 2010 in her kitchen and told her I was missing memory, I would have to say El Paso was possible…. but I can’t, not for sure…

Health issues have plagued me since I went in the military… and I have several thousands of pages of medical records to back that up, sadly…

If I had only been told, when I went in the military that I had been beaten severely and the health issues that popped up, would have been diagnosised and my life, may have been much different… only reason that didn’t happen…

My dad, SMSGT Don Bagwell was active duty when I joined… if the scandal came out that he had beaten me to death and the Air Force covered it up… that just can’t happen… that takes humanity to be honest and Don went to the grave swearing he was a christian… I expect Freda to do the same….

You can’t fix stupid, stupid has to want to be fixed… and some people are to afraid to live life, because they would have to own what they did in said life…

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember… Margie…men in power protecting men in power… I will get my answers, truth matters to me…..

#MeToo WhyIDidntTell