There is a positive side?? Right???

The philosophy side of me says that the positive side of this mess is there… I just have to find it….

When the U. S. Government denied me access to my fathers mental health records from when he beat me to death and they locked him in a psych ward for a while… nope… they got those dirty little secrets locked away… because the military’s reputation is more important… than my life….

Ya know… I have known that for decades… that my life had no value to anyone but me… not to my kids… not to hubby… but to me… it’s everything….

When in reality it is the way we should all be looking at our lives…. but ya got religion, superstitions and most of all, many perspectives…..

I had to pop a pain pill after I took the new denture out… it had shoved up into my right cheek bone area… which is the exact area, my other partial digs into… not enough bone left for the partials.. thus pain… an right now… lots of it…

Top that off an the doc tells me I will lose the last 3 teeth I have in my maxillary and looking at how the denture fits… I can see why… but regardless…

This mass of plastic… is just way to big for my mouth and it’s time for a lesson on anatomy with the dentist… because after I ripped that damn partial out when I was trying to eat… I remembered… just a little while ago, what the dentist in the Air Force I worked with told me….

I have a small mouth and there just isn’t room for a denture, my tongue and food… thus the partial that El Paso made me… it was wafer thin… because I couldn’t tolerate the thicker one they tried to make… trauma… always trauma in how I make memories… and that dental time was truama… just like now….

Tomorrow, will call the doc, so he can adjust the denture and inform him, not enough room in my mouth for the denture and food… one has to go… and food is the breath of life… the denture is just for looks….

It will mean we won’t be going out… won’t go see any shows at the place we have gone before and get a bite to eat… won’t be able to stop and grab a bite, when we have a day on the other side of the island… unless I want to carry the other partial in a bag of water all the time and swap them out??? REALLY???!!!

So positive side… right now.. don’t see one… I just see me trying to get us to a point with the money so we can get the hell off of Hawaii and I can get home to dentist that will take care of me and not make me suffer…. my mouth is still hurting….

I really don’t know what I did to these federal employees, except to blow the whistle on corruption… and if I am paying with crappy health care… imagine how the whistle blower on Trump is feeling… I filed 2 IG complaints… and here I sit, being punished by American citizens, getting a pay check and playing god with my life….

Some how, I have to take that control away from them….. and still keep my health care I wore a military uniform for 5 1/2 years…..

Sgt. USAF DAV Keaau, Hawaii… don’t move here, worse VA health care in America…. and that is a fact….