I so get why Veterans do Suicide……

PTSD… never heard of it before I went in the military… heard of shell shock… but not PTSD… the beginning of understanding trauma to the psychic……or mind…your choice of vancaular’s….

The depression hit hard last night… facing the reality of all that money I spent to save my teeth… the VA let disentegrate…. honestly these people went to college and medical schoool… did know one teach them to shut and listen????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

The depression was so deep last night, I crawled out of bed after hubby fell asleep and sobbed… not able to comprehend what the failed VA health care system has done to me….. not once, not twice, but multiple times and now… it’s cascading into serious health issues….. as well great damage to my mental status….

All because I pissed off a federal employee at the Hilo VA office… honest, christians are so thin skinned, no wonder they hide behind a man made god…

In the shower a little while ago the tears flowed again… this time, because the dentist took his frustration out on me… and I left the clinic with only one adjustment done to the denture and none of the facial areas addressed….

I told hubby I had no desire to step in the clinic again… I didn’t create this mess, but It’s being taken out on me… and I just can’t take anymore… I am so done…

So done, that those cliffs at the end of our road look very inviting…..

I so get why veterans take their own lives….

The song… that goes….

Turn around look at me… there is someone, standing beside you, turn around and look at me……………………..

As you go about your daily business… do that… turn around… look at those around you… 1 in 4 is a veteran and just wants to know ……

Someone sees them…..

Today was a rough day… this past couple of years have been a hell I really don’t want to repeat… constantly reliving the beatings and truama… throw in trauma by my own dentist today… and not being kept in the loop by the VA…

Turn around… look at me…. I am not invisible…

I am Sgt. M. A. P. USAF DAV….. I served, so you could look thru me…

Happy Veterans day…. not so in my home…..