Venting is good for the soul…

This has been a long 2 years….

I have had major surgery, which, thanks to my dental is not happy with the changes in diet and its been letting me know… a pelvic floor rebuild, because the VA screwed up… not on my bucket list… but likely is for a federal employee I pissed off….. sigh……..

The only positive about this mess…. I can’t munch in the middle of the night, even if my stomach rumbles and tells me it needs sustanance….. it will get denied… I have no way of chewing without the dentures and even then… it’s pain to the max….. I’m out of sighs……………………………………………….

The weight is coming off again… this is the 5th time in 2 years… I didn’t have control of weight loss and it was caused by the VA… and they call this health care?????

At this point… my lower partial and my last 3 teeth on the upper left side, allow me to eat and take in way to much air and cause esphogial spasms and in turn causes the hyatial sliding hernia to move and eating just became a 4 letter word and that pain is worse than a heart attack… you can bank that fact…… hubby has to watch me go through it 9 time out of 10 eatings…. thank you VA……

So the weight is trying to come off…. I barely can eat a meal, let alone a piece of fruit or any kind of snacks… the pain is just to much… and popping these heavy Nsaids, puts my organs at risk and they are all badly scarred by the beatings when I was 5 & 8 years old……

Stay positive… I keep telling myself… the time will pass, the work will get done, the pain will pass…… and I start laughing… but I will remember every bit of it….. honestly, when did I not get it as an adult about this memory thing???

Pot…. I smoked pot and ignored it and just thought, you have exceptional memory…. even now, I get on hubby, when it’s me… because I’m stoned and forgot…. I do have the best partner for this journey…. love of my life and best support ever…..

We did our mile, tried to watch the news and just gave up and started our day…. trying to figure were to hide everything as the holiday season starts… going to town next week to get a Armoire to match our set… I need more storage, and have just enough space for one…. and we are full to the gills…. packing to move home, will not be fun… except knowing we are going home…. which I told our daughter…. not likely for 2 years, maybe 3… but….

With the junk in DC and a recession already showing here… we will be in a position to buy a 2nd home, next year…. so options…. always on the table….

Day going to be warm…. AC will be on… so miss fall weather….

Hopefully the VA will decide to inform me who and what they are sending me too… I may not like the doctor and request a different one… gods these federal employees are not… but you wouldn’t know that by Trump and his GOP…..

Sgt. USAF DAV I remember… Margie and the fact she was born into a democracy, not a religious right wing christian sect….. Democracy, before religion… not all of us are that blind to it’s corruption….

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