I was Lost, Now I am Found… 50 years of Amnesia….

To wake up every morning and not remember your childhood is a haunting way to live life… One of the reasons I got into DNA and adoptees, looking for the past…

Little did I realize Pandora’s box was being opened by my curiosity about my past….

They say to live in the here and now, you need to know where you came from…

I didn’t know that…

I have always had less than 24 memories from the time I was able to walk, till the day I walked out my parents home… those first 17 years of life… were gone…

I knew when I left home, things were off and not right… I knew something was wrong with my body and my brain… but no one told me…

No one told me I died in Big Springs, Texas at the age of 13… after being beaten to a pulp by my father, Don …

No one told me I had a stroke and seizures…..

No one told me about any of my childhood… but…

Freda would dangle a carrot over the decades, as if testing the waters on my memories…

Freda would insure I would pay for standing up to her and calling the cops at Mather AFB in 1974… the writing on the wall was in stone by the time I told her not to interfer with the raising of my first born… and she did… oh my did evil enter that day….

When I watched Don die in 2006 and the subsequent behavior of all involved… I left… but I returned….

I stood in that kitchen I helped pay for and told Freda in 2010 I was missing memory….

As she sat at that kitchen table she bought when I was a child, she dropped her head facing the yard and said….”some things are best not remembered”….

When I confronted her about the abuse of my child under her roof by my half sister… she didn’t blink an eye…

Yes… I was once lost, because christians stole my life and made me into a slave for their enjoyment… they used my intelligence to advance…. never thanking me along the way…

In Dec 2018 I had a MRI of the brain and it showed the old stroke and brain bleeds… TIA’s….. how many, no one can say, but the damage is there for all to see….

But no one told me…

I turned 65 this year… I died in 1967….. 50 years of darkness and the living is still silent as the grave I am hoping for them…..

On Nov 5, 2017……. 26 innocents were cut down in Sutherland Springs, Texas…. by a young deranged Airman… and the Air Force failed again… just as they did when I died at Webb AFB, Big Springs, Texas…. 1967…

On Nov 7, 2017 I told my husband I had a story… he had heard so many over the 25 years of marriage…. and I started talking about Big Springs, Texas… and as I write, the chills cover my skin, reminding me of the horror of that memory…

The night Margie died….

The living is still not talking… this blog is a diary of my journey out of the chaos of strokes, TIA’s and the deceit of christians and the U. S. Air Force…

This is my story of survival and 50 years of amnesia….

Sgt. USAF DAV I Remember…. Margie…. #WhyIDidntTell