This whole story of Margie goes back to one issue only…. NO ONE ever told her what happened, but they sure had fun for decades dropping hints, all the way up till the time of Don’s (dad) death and when he was gone, she told me to butt out and believe you me, I TRIED!!!
When the shooter in Texas happened 11/5/17 and I started talking, all my little bread crumbs I had left myself all these years, started popping into my mind like popcorn and 12 months later, it’s still popping…
When the shrink at the El Paso VA wrote I had PTSD due to my illness I thought at that time in 2011, the dude was bat shit crazy… why would Fibromyalgia cause me mental issues…. then I started the magnesium to help me sleep, lots of life happened, many deaths… and
I nearly lost Mike to a heart attack, but I caught his heart failure and his doctors took it from there… we move to Hawaii, this was the place he wanted for his resting spot and his heart comes back after so much trauma and now we want to go home and spoil our great grand-daughter and soon to be grand son….
But…. Not yet… the bread crumb trail isn’t finished and I need to be as close as I will ever get to being at peace with this before we go home and live life….
Fixing stuff for our dinner and the memory of the balance beam in high school hits… and I am living it, every second of that moment in time and I realize… that beam wasn’t even a couple of feet off the floor and I still couldn’t do it and the aha moment hits… Alabama, torn down building, I and other kids played on, with pylons, couldn’t have been more dangerous and 12 feet off the ground and I had no balance issues… something happened between Alabama and Japan…. and the memory unfolds…
Texas happened… the times my mother like telling the story of when Don got locked up in a psych ward… what she didn’t bother to tell in the rest of the story…. Her and dad, nearly killed me that night in Big Spring, Texas and that is when Margie died….
So many bread crumbs that have led me to Post Traumatic Stress Amnesia and Disorder… because an active duty member in the USAF, nearly killed his 13-year-old daughter and he tried again on Japan and one last time on Okinawa….
The doctor was close, I do not have fibromyalgia… I have peripheral neuropathy and autonomic neuropathy… my death sentence was handed to me at 6 years of age… because I told a host on a kids TV show my sister was not so special after all and I paid for that one statement, until now…..
So many bread crumbs that revealed the truth about the people I once called family…. and a military branch that was more concerned about image than life…. I know… it was mine they stole… and my childs….
TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell
I Remember… Margie….